Me Reading The Torchwood Archives:
Jack's Archive Notes: "According to Ianto. Splott is pronounced 'Sploe.' I think Ianto may have been lying.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto Jones temporarily suspended from active duty. To return at my discretion. Ianto's personal needs and emotional state have been overlooked. During his suspension, I will try to spend more time with him. Hopefully we can establish a closer working relationship."
Me: I bet you will.
Jack's Archive Notes: "After what happened with Jasmine, nobody is talking to me (except Ianto). They'll come around. Everyone comes around."
Me: That episode was weird as fuck.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Brought Ianto Jones along to get him out of the Hub, out of the city, get some relaxing time in the country with the team. May not have been the best decision I made this year."
Me: You mean because he and Tosh were kidnapped and almost eaten by cannibals? Nah.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto is still suffering, but putting on a brave face. Will try talking to him over dinner, outside the Hub. See if there's anything more I can do for him."
Me: AND SO IT BEGINS. You do that, Jack. You do that.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto and I stayed back to go over the case files and reorganize the safe. Internal security cameras were temporarily shut down to run diagnostic tests."
Jack's Archive Notes: "So there was no monitoring of the Hub for approximately four hours - but there were no security breaches to report. Everything went very smoothly."
Me: FOUR HOURS? Oh wait, this was the episode with the stopwatch scene at the-
Jack's Archive Notes: "Need to requisition a new stopwatch. Old one damaged while moving a desk."
Me: They had sex.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto surprisingly profficient at the good cop/bad cop routine. Although, obviously, he's the good cop. He's too cute to be the bad cop."
Me: Aren't these supposed to be official notes, Jack.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto tried to stop Owen opening the Rift, and actually shot him in the shoulder. Everyone except Owen is finding this very amusing."
Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS???? GET SOME FUCKING THERAPY.
Jack's Archive Notes: "I worry about Ianto. I think he took it harder than anyone when I ran off. It's going to take me a while to make things up to him. He is a decent, good man and I'm lucky I met him."
Me: I LOVE IANTO, DON'T GET ME WRONG. BUT YOU SHOULD'VE GONE WITH THE DOCTOR. Oh well.
Jack's Archive Notes: "I'm in trouble with Ianto for duct-taping a CB aerial to the SUV. Apparently the tape made the wing mirror 'disconcertingly sticky.' Still, nothing a bit of warm, soapy water can't fix."
Me: I feel like I'm missing something here.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto and I made some progress, talked things through."
Me: You mean you had a much appreciated make-out scene in season 2 episode 3, yes.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto turned into a fighting, kicking, stun-gun machine. It was very exciting. I must get put in danger more often."
Me: Keep it professional, Jack. Someone could be reading these.
Jack's Archive Notes: "In big trouble with Ianto for risking everything to go and get the second glove. I should have told him before I went, but he'd probably have cuffed me to the chair to stop me. And I've fallen for that way too many times."
Me: I SAID KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL, JACK. THAT IS NOT PROFESSIONAL.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Have convinced Ianto to take me to a normal cinema, to see an actual movie. He's also curious to know if I still have my old circus outfit. If I can find it. I think a private show is in order."
Me: FINE, DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT.
Jack's Archive Notes: "After Gwen had gone home, I just held onto Ianto for a couple of hours, as tightly as I could."
Me: YOU HIPSTER.
Jack's Archive Notes: Everyone came out of the explosion pretty beaten up, but no major damage. We got lucky. And so did John. Because if he had killed anyone - if he had hurt Ianto - I would have slowly ripped him limb from limb."
Me: That's right Jack, protect your-
Jack's Archive Notes: "Although I have to say, Ianto does look good all messed up and dirty."
Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Jack's Archive Notes: "Owen and Tosh - you were the best. I miss you."
Jack's Archive Notes: "Ianto, I know you're reading this over my shoulder, pretending to fix that damn shelf. So get over here and take me out somewhere."
Me: GOD DAMMIT, WHY DIDN'T WE GET TO SEE MORE OF THIS RELATIONSHIP IN THE SHOW. IT'S NOT FAIR. I'M NOT ASKING IT TO BE THE MAIN FOCUS, I JUST WANTED A LITTLE MORE, JUST A LITTE BEFORE YOU FUCKING KILLED OFF IANTO. THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING. SO FUCK YOU BECAUSE I HATE THIS DAMN SHOW. I DON'T EVEN CARE. I DON'T EVEN CARE.
fairgroundsoldier: wat a beautiful graphic wat a fantastic gif why did you use that font
elizabitchtaylor: Since most of us are in bed with our laptops I like to think it means we’re kind of in bed together.
Instructions: You should know these by now.
1: What do you put on hotdogs?
2: Do you say "anticlimatic" or "anticlimactic"?
3: Do you check flyers before grocery shopping?
4: Blue, black, or some other colour pen ink?
5: Do you use your parking brake?
6: Look to your left. How many framed pictures are on the wall?
7: Do you know how to play chess?
8: How often do you clean the interior of your car?
9: Do you ever read the last few pages first?
10: Ever fallen in the shower?
11: On a scale of 1-10, how likely are you to swear at other drivers?
12: What's the worst thing you've ever called someone you care about?
13: Do you have a Snuggie?
14: Are you allergic to anything?
15: Do you have any TV shows on DVD?
16: How many times do you hit the snooze button before finally getting out of bed?
17: Ever driven away in anger?
18: What's your favourite freezie colour?
19: Are you a vegetarian?
20: Do you have a garbage receptacle beside you? What's on top?
21: Do you cross out your mistakes or erase/whiteout them?
22: Ever torn something up that you instantly knew was too important for such treatment?
23: Do you think that things will get better?
24: Do you have an unpopular opinion? What is it?
25: What's your favourite quote?
26: Did you/are you going to go to prom?
27: What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced?
28: What's the most emotionally/mentally painful thing you've ever experienced?
29: Have you ever legitimately saved a person's life?
30: What's your favourite book genre?
31: Did you like "Gigli"? Be honest.
32: Have you ever walked out of a movie at the theatre?
33: Do you peek between your fingers during the scary scenes?
34: What was your reaction to Tatum getting killed whilst stuck in the pet door in Scream?
35: Do dogs like you?
36: Would you say that you project an air of authority?
37: Do people listen when you speak?
38: How are your elbows? Are they okay?
39: What is one thing that you do exceptionally well? Be honest.
40: Do you use torrents?
41: When was the last time you paid for music?
42: Are you addicted to technology?
43: Pick a person (you don't need to give their name). How do you feel about them? Be as honest as you can get yourself to be.
44: Do you check your computer's dictionary for the definition of words you'd otherwise feel confident about using during in-person interactions? Just to be sure?
45: How heavily to you rely on spellcheck and autocorrect?
46: Have you ever gotten into an argument on the internet? Did you win?
47: Do you pause movies/TV shows if you have to go to the bathroom or the kitchen, or do you just let them keep playing?
48: If you use a regular alarm clock, do you have it set to music or that obnoxious beeping?
49: Peter Pan?
50: How often do you fall up the stairs?
51: Do you pronounce "anti" as ant-eye or ant-ee? (Example: "That scene was very anticlimactic.")
52: Do you pronounce "via" as vee-uh or vie-uh? (Example: "We can get there via Tremont Street.")
53: How often do you forget to close your parentheses?
Patiently Waiting For the Next Season of Sherlock
johnnyapplesemen: why do people keep acting like tumblr is so super secret we’re people with blogs not the fucking illuminati
Reblog if you are really a 45 year old pedophile.